Jesus Speaks to Women: Chapter 2, Mary at the Wedding

Meditations for the weary, wounded, and wondering | John 2:1-11

Introduction to the Jesus Speaks to Women Series

The Gospel writer John records these words of Jesus to the religious people who opposed him: “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me” (John 5:39). The Scriptures are meant to introduce us to a person—Jesus. And our friendship with that person is meant to change everything. My goal with this studies is to help you see and hear the real Jesus more clearly by meditating on the words he spoke specifically to women. Do you know there are more than 20 accounts in the Gospels of Jesus’ words to women? Would you step into these stories with me and imagine how they experienced Jesus? Will you listen to what Jesus might have to say to you too? Thanks for joining me here!

The Scripture: John 2:1-11

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The Poem:

Grown now, Jesus calls me “woman”
endearing me despite
my struggles constructing a family
in the ruins of clashing empires

at this wedding we dance
rhythms of celebration
in a world of pressure and disappointment
the wine loosens our grief

until
“they have no wine,” I elbow Him
“Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.”

that hour looms like the moon
phasing in and out
these 30 plus years
could I stay it if I tried?

“Do whatever he tells you,”
I instruct the servants
I know the man He is
and I leave it in His hands

well water by the gallons
six jars full
turned to fine aged wine
in understated glory
saving the best for last
the heart of the party revived

I will think back on this moment
when the hour is finally full
and He sips soured wine
just before the Finish
His life rushing out from Him
like wine for our gladness
saving the best for last again

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Meditations on the Scripture

Virginiadean was my grandmother on my mother’s side. She was raised in New Jersey, just outside New York City, where her father owned a flower shop. “Pop” was funny, creative, and sensitive. Late in life, he would walk the beach, collecting bits of trash and sea detritus to make ships and figurines from driftwood. My grandmother, “Ginny,” was sweet-natured and caring. She kept a spotless house and with some kind of laundry magic, could keep shirts crisp and white for decades.

From that side of the family, I like to think I inherited my creativity, along with a good portion of people-pleasing and anxiety. The women in my family are very aware of other people’s expectations and never, I mean never, want to let anyone down.

Mabel Claire was my grandmother on my father’s side. I didn’t know her as well as Virginiadean because the Navy never stationed us near Missouri where she lived, but I recall her as quiet and somewhat gloomy and pessimistic. Her mother had been institutionalized for crippling depression, and although Mabel Claire didn’t claim it, we think it was her struggle as well.

In me, this history manifests itself in an interesting mix of anxiety and depression. When I face unexpected, difficult, or challenging circumstances, I can picture my ancestors, one side of the family on each shoulder:

One murmurs, “This is not going to go well. Could be disastrous, actually, but that’s how life goes.”

The other reminds me, “Make sure you don’t disappoint anyone! They might find out you’re not as great as they thought you were.”

Because disaster could loom behind any chance circumstance, I’m particularly allergic to facing problems that I don’t know how to solve. Feeling the rumblings of lingering anger? Leave it on the backburner. Underlying anxiety about one of my kids? Stuff it. Overwhelmed by the injustices of the world? Doomscroll until your mind goes numb and you’re completely overwhelmed. That’ll do it!

In today’s story that is only recorded by John in the Gospels, Mary faces down a significant problem she has no idea how to solve. I see in this account the growth of her character and her trust in her son, Jesus.

We first see Jesus interact with his mother in Luke chapter 2 when he is 12 and accidently left behind during the celebration of Passover in Jerusalem (see Chapter 1 of this study). This story in John 2 takes place nearly 20 years after, and it’s thought that Mary is now a widow since we don’t see Joseph again in the Gospels.

John doesn’t tell us whose wedding took place in Cana, but the whole family was likely there, including Jesus, his mother, and his brothers, along with his newly-minted disciples (see John 2:12). We’re not told her role, but it seems Mary felt some responsibility for the wedding party to run smoothly, whether because she was helping or because she was related to the family.

We also don’t know how many days into the wedding this event occurs, but the wine at a wedding has run out! Wine would have been the essential beverage, and without it, the party would have been a complete flop. My own wedding was a short, dry (non-alcoholic) affair—intentionally kept short and free of the need to extend beyond a few hours, but that would not have been satisfying or culturally appropriate in Jesus’ day. If families had traveled from long distances, the party would be expected to go on for as much as a week (NIV Study Bible). I imagine it would have been a joyful time to reconnect with family and friends.

In contrast to the first recorded conversation we see her have with Jesus in Scripture (when he is 12 at the temple), Mary knows him better now. She also knows that this party emergency is not something she can fix. She sees right through all the possible solutions to the ONE solution—ask Jesus for help.

When Jesus was 12, Jesus’ time for public ministry was far off. In this scene, Mary still doesn’t know the exact timing, but she seems to know it’s approaching. We can sense that tension in Jesus’ words to her when she asks for his help: “Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come.”

In response, Mary doesn’t order her son to do anything, she simply says, “Do whatever he tells you to do.” She entrusts the problem and the outcome to him.

Chinese painter Xu Jihua* (you can read more on this artist and the Chinese Christian art movement of the 1930s and 40s at the end of this post) captures this scene beautifully. I’ve adapted it for this chapter’s coloring page. It’s a calm scene featuring Jesus, halo-ed and in yellow, outside the banquet room with the servants. At first, it doesn’t appear that Mary is included in the image, but if we look closely, we can see she’s seated at end of the table, her head surrounded by a soft white halo, a little smile on her face knowing that Jesus is taking care of things like he always does—because she asked.

Jesus Turns Water Into Wine by Chinese Artist Charles Xu Jihua 徐濟華. 1912-1937

Jesus instructs the servants to fill six stone jars that held 20-30 gallons of water each and were normally used for ceremonial washing. Then he tells them to draw some out and give it to the person in charge of the party. In an act of faith itself, these servants take the wine to the “master of the banquet,” the head waiter. John doesn’t tell us if the servants first tried the wine before presenting it to the host, but likely they followed Jesus’ instruction, not sure of the outcome.

This remind me of the story in Luke 17:14 when Jesus tells the ten lepers to go present themselves to the priests, and on the way, they were healed. They had to start on their journey unhealed. It seems like this is the kind of thing Jesus often does. He helps people to activate their faith with a simple step, knowing that this is the path to joy.

John doesn’t tell us the exact moment when Jesus physically changed the water to wine. We don’t know if it was in the moment the water filled the jars. We don’t know if it was changed when the servants drew it out. All we know is that by the time it touched the lips of the host, it was not only good wine, it was fine, aged wine, enough for all the guests, enough for the joy to flow freely again and the party to be sustained.

Interestingly, the host had no idea what had happened behind the scenes. He thought they had forgone the common custom of saving the worst wine for last when everyone was too drunk to notice. The host received the blessings of Jesus’ miracle without knowing its source.

John tell us at the end of this account: “This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee. He thus revealed his glory and his disciples put their faith in him” (3:11). This story will set in motion events that lead to Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection within just three years, but it hinges on Mary seeing a problem and having the faith to bring it to Jesus.

I think many of our communities and our personal lives feel like a party where the wine has run out. Or maybe there’s still wine, but it’s the watered down stuff that’s not satisfying enough to sustain a party. There are needs we don’t know how to meet and brokenness we have no idea how to fix. We feel disconnected and discontented.

Like me, maybe we don’t want to look at these problems unless we know that we can solve them, and quickly. We don’t like to sit in the tension of uncertainty and helplessness.

But uncertainty and helplessness are exactly the circumstance Jesus is SO good at entering into and transforming. This story shows us that Jesus is literally the life of the party, restoring joy, hope, peace, and justice.

Mary shows us that we may not be able to solve a problem ourselves, but we can notice it and ask Jesus to help.

Although we are all products of our twisted bramble of ancestors, like me and my grandmothers, we are also invited into the family of God. As we walk with Jesus as Mary did, we can learn to turn to our disasters and dilemmas with confidence and say, “Do whatever Jesus tells you.”

Scriptures for Further Study:
Psalm 104:14-15
Isaiah 55:1
Jeremiah 31:12
Joel 2:19
Amos 9:13-14
Matthew 26:27-28
John 19:30

Your thoughts, corrections, and suggestions are valued and welcomed in the process of writing these studies. I consider you part of my writing team, and I appreciate you joining me. If you have time and would like to, let me know your thoughts in the comments!

All writing and images copyright Marydean Draws 2025.

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